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Father, Big ole perv, dork, geek. Hopeless romantic....

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Amorous Rocker
Aunt Jackie
Down The Rabbithole
Here there be Dragons
Jay the Cynical Bastard
Agrah's Page
Pretty Peanut
Semi-Celibate Erotica
Sexy Duet
Stealth Bombshell
Violet Blue
Edinburgh Erotica

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    Sunday, April 29, 2007

    Temporarily out of order..

    Due to technical difficulties, we are temporarily out of order.....

    Special post just for Sffade!!

    ***Back to normalcy soon!! :)

    Tuesday, April 24, 2007

    ***New Template courtesy of the amazing Devil Blue Dress, cool new banner coming compliments of our equaly amazing friend Suze just as soon as I figure out how to embed it!! :)

    ***Snicker.......I just said embed and had a dirty thought...DevilBlue and Suze,,,Me and Agrah....I Digress......:)

    ***New banner embedded, and more dirty thoughts :)

    Monday, April 23, 2007

    The Prince of Dork!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    It's true friends.....I've won. I'm both honored and dismayed.....and slightly horney...but all in all....this is a good thing!

    This was damn stiff competition. Severaly good dorky fun entries were submitted...yet my family was convinced...I would win. My father and lovely wife...hrrm....had absolutley no doubt....I guess i find that encouraging...

    Where it not for the lovely wife, and her campaigning...brutal campaigning....chicago style campaigning......this would not be possible..:)

    Without her endless..daily..soliciting of...everybody...we've ever met in IRC...some we have not talked to for years...on purpose...this would not have been possible. Her arm twisting at work....and quick learning of chicago style voting....I salute her!! :)

    To our extended family and friends who will no longer accept our phone calls or e-mails....I say...Thank YOU!!

    To any who actually read my post, and voted just because it was funny...I thank you!!

    I am very proud and be....the 1st ever....."Prince of Dork!"

    and na na na na nahhh!! :)

    Please pay our good friends at Dorkbloggers a visit and share your love......they are great fun!!!!!! :)

    ***Special thanks to all the admins of Dorkbloggers for busting thier ass to keep this competition running.....:)

    Rumour is I won......!!!

    Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.....we are still counting dad will
    be so proud...:)

    Blatant Exploitation of my readers....:) Revisited

    Vote for me!! Please!! Shameless pandering here..:)

    Sticky post thanks to CRSE...:) newer posts below this..:)

    As many of you know...I'm competing for the title of "Prince of dorks". If I win..not only will I get a $20.00 gift certificate, but also a nifty button to proudly display on my blog. Exciting shit eh??? C' all WANT me to win this. The competition is pretty stiff, but my post stands out as one of the dorkiest...I think I have a shot. Voting ends the 23rd....and you can vote once a day every day....hint hint..:)

    If you are so inclined, please read my submission and then VOTE. Hopefully for me....:)

    ***This pains me.....but the fine folks at Dorkbloggers had a problem. Somebody may have been cheating...or the poll may have just squirled out.....either way...they have it fixed now...please keep voting...I had to edit my damn links and want to win damnit....:)

    Late sunday / Early monday post.... i'm a lil nervous about this interview.........but ehh...I'll live. But I've been playing this weekends events back in my mind.

    My dad is out of town, but stepmom and family were there...including an aunt...who I'm trying to help get her comptia A+. We ate pizza...we yakked....the princess played with the aunts grandgirl........basically I was the only guy in the middle of a big ass pajama party......wich under different circumstances could be cool......setting for a porno movie even...but not this visit..:)

    So anywho...polite conversation turns to real conversation...and we all get bored with that....then we talk a lil about the school shooting.....which I've been avoiding likethe plauge so as not to give that ASSHOLE so much a minute of more glory.....and then I'm asked the awkward question....

    Even if he got the guns legally....why the hell would he need them???

    Now friends....I'm in no way defending him...or the laws that let him buy them...but these questions piss me off. Rather then spend a great deal of time discussing with her which does more damage..9mm vs .22 caliber....laws...etc. I asked many steak knives do you have in the house?

    This threw her and she said...well a few. I asked...really...a few? How many do ya need.....I've seen your cutlery, you have alot of knives here you've never used...likely never will use....and some pretty scary looking? Who decides whats a steak knife vs a butcher knife? Why?

    We agreed to drop the whole conversation after was probably best...:)

    Saturday, April 21, 2007

    Bad dreams and happy memories....

    I was reading a friends post on bad dreams this morning and it got me thinking about my own. dreams usually fall into 1 of 2 catagories...and have for as long as I can remember. They are either splinted disjointed fragments, or lucid....more real or as real as this is real dreams. The 1st I can describe, is toss a mirror in a mud puddle and watch it shatter....each piece being a part of the same story out of order, or some thier own story fighting for air time......ehhhhh such is my mind..:)

    My son had similar tendencies when he was younger....complete with fear of monsters. I swear...they were in his closet, in his dresser, under his bed...all over the place. With much thought, and concern I pondered how I could resolve this..then it came to me....MONSTER SPRAY!!

    The kit is pretty easy to assemble if your a DIY kinda person, mine went like this..

    1 plant spritzy bottle.
    1 roll of masking tape...or a blank sticky lable.
    1 magic marker....permanent aka sharpie works best.
    1 adequate source of tap water to fill said bottle.


    Take the bottle and apply masking tape or sticky lable to it.
    Use said marker to write "MONSTER SPRAY" on the tape/lable. (Be creative, draw monsters and such for emphasis)
    Fill bottle with tap water.


    Once assembled and working, upon the next monster fear the child expresses, display with pride and confidence, your bottle of "MONSTER SPRAY".

    Once displayed, boldly walk with child to thier room while explaining.....this is monster spray, monsters hate this and wont come near them, it's worse than soap.

    Upon entering the childs room, spray offending areas....under beds, by the dresser, closet area....let the child spray it as well. (NOTE..It is very important to emphasize....only a spritz or two!! I learned this the hard way!!)

    This may take a couple of times before you can give the child your bottle of monster spray to sleep with on thier own, but that is the goal here...:)

    ***Editors note, Under no circumstances should you colour the water with dye/food coloring....this is bad...I know...the stains never come out!! :)

    Friday, April 20, 2007

    Da Count!!!

    I missed last weeks, and kinda feel bad...but I did take time to reflect even though I didn't post. Some pretty crazy shit going on here in the Zig house.....mostly good, some well just pisses me off.

    Ordinarily....I'd probably be posting about how I'm thankful the exchange went well for the princess even though I really dislike the is not that day....because his punk ass has bailed. While I dislike the drive, I've never attempted to deny him visitation....I've always sucked it, manned up, and done it. This weekend is no exception...would have, he seems to have bailed, without a phone call...without an explaination...and in a tantrum. If pleasant...and not in an Alec Baldwin fit....I hope he takes the time to call her tonight....just to say hi.

    Today...I'm thankful I can restrain myself from typing the mean and dirt I really want to, because it serves no purpose of benifit.

    Today...I'm thankful I can restrain from speaking these things to the princess or within earshot of her.

    Today...I'm thankful that even though my parents divorced when I was 3....I was brought up in an environment that gave me 1 and 2.

    Today...I'm thankful a job interview in a few days, that sounds pretty damn interesting..:)

    Today....I am thankful...that I can regularly remember to be thankful..for everything, even when it pisses me off..:)

    Happy Da Count goofs and friends!!


    Thursday, April 19, 2007

    No HNT today.........

    Sorry guys....but still lacking on the HNT front. We plan to get back into it....but "other things" keep coming up. I can promise you all though...Camp is only a few weeks know what happens at camp...:)

    On a lighter note......I have an interview on monday. Seems that software firm is seriously interested. It sounds like it's more of a hell desk position than anything else.....but they are small enough, and if the pay is right, we'll see what they have to say :).

    Happy thursday and HNT goofs and friends.....oh, and VOTE FOR ZIG..:)!!

    Wednesday, April 18, 2007

    Age gaps and job offers......

    So I'm killing time here waiting to call that software firm that emailed me last week. I sent a reply back indicating interest....but sceptical about 2nd shift position....nothing wrong with that shift in general, but family matters and conflicting schedules.....that could be iffy. My thinking...why bullshit them, tell them upfront before the interview and save us both time. I did include my references in that e-mail...and lo and behold....

    Mr. Zig...if you're still interested, I'd like you to call me to set up an interview. Things may be looking up here...:)

    I'm not sure if many of you goofs know this...but the Lovely wife is a few years younger than I. Not many....really only 3, but sometimes I'm amazed at what a difference that can make just in terms of references and small jokes. Agrah is very well read, we enjoy similar tastes in music and literature in general, but little things continue to chuckle me......

    For example.....somewhat but not entirely under duress, I got her to sit through "Soylent Green" with me, and she can now chuckle when I cry..."OMG...the SCOOPS THE SCOOPS!!" It was a marathon week......I also subjected her to "Logans Run"...she was less impressed I think, but it did make that family guy episode inside joke make sense for her...:)

    Then there are times we hit dead last night. The lovely wife was shamelessly soliciting votes on IRC when she asked..."sweetie.....who sung 99 red balloons?" the song crept through my head in german and english at the same time........I drew a blank and had to google it..(a benefit of his and hers pc's)......................and the damn thing's been in my head ever since!!!!!!!

    So anywho....Ive been on an 80's kick this week for some reason....and what better way to appreciate it than subject you all to the same!!! :)

    German Version....:)

    English Version....:)

    Happy wednesday goofs and friends.......oh, and VOTE FOR ZIG..:)!!

    Tuesday, April 17, 2007

    TMI Tuesday...and the vote continues!

    It's a tight competition and my lovely wife / campaign manager has been hard at it. I'm not sure who wants this more.....frankly I think she does, just to remind me I'm a dork and so much so as to have won an award saying as much. Either's bragging rights damnit!! :) to TMI!!

    1. My biggest sexual turnoff is __________?
    Rude/Mean people......mean people suck...and not in a sexy way.....

    2. Do you prefer natural tastes or flavored lubes?
    Natural is way cool with me....but a lil fun to the mix is good to. Have I ever mentioned how much fun listerene strips can be?? :)

    3. How much money would it take to convince you to get on stage naked?
    There is money involved in this???? DAMNIT!!!!! Now I feel cheap and dirty.....

    4. Have you ever been to an AA meeting or similar support group meeting?
    Sadly...I have. I realise this works for some, and have respect for it......but this is not for my mind.

    5. Do you wear socks to bed? Is that okay or totally unsexy?
    Whats unsexier.......socks....or ice cold feet??? Do sock puppets count here?

    Bonus (as in optional): Ever been arrested? Turned someone in/had someone arrested?
    I indeed have.......not proud of it...but been there. It led to an AA meeting that didn't go so well..................

    Happy TMI goofs and friends!!!! Oh...and VOTE FOR ZIG!! :)


    It finally arrived!!!!

    It finally arrived! I've been plotting for months now. I've been checking the mailbox every day. I've been crossing my fingers hoping like hell I wasn't geting ripped off........and today......yesterday actually, my bad for not checking the mail till like 3am....but arrived!!!

    What could it be you may ask?

    Is it a quantum accelerator?? NOPE (certain legal restraints.....bastards)
    Is it a really cool DVD?? NOPE
    Is it a rubber ducky with a pointy green hat?? NOPE (mental note to get rubber ducky with green pointy hat)

    As my lovely wife / campaign manager was soliciting votes for the dorkblogger contest, I proudly handed her the prize of prizes. A well read copy of Ice Prophet!!

    The 1st book of an obscure sci fi/fantasy trilogy I turned her onto back in the 80's by William R. Forstchen. I've spent the a fair amount of time finding these, and now the trilogy is complete..and a happy wife is reading as we speak...:)

    See....the internet is not just for porn afterall....:)

    Happy tuesday goofs and friends........oh.and VOTE FOR ZIG!! :)

    ***Edit: Unexpected bonus. All three seem to be 1st edition prints.....granted it's an obscure print, they may well all be 1st additions.....but phhpt!! :)

    Sunday, April 15, 2007

    Banana LLama

    Rather than even try to explain the need for this post......I'll just let the lovely wife explain it in her blog.........:)

    I now subject you toooooooooooo.....the 80's!!!!!!!!

    ***Editors note, my daughter said "Hey, that says Bananarama.....not Bananallama." I pondered this hard and replied "yes angel, this is a german website..they spell everything different there." :)

    ***Editors note continued, No matter how funny it seems at the time, it's never a 4H festival...while your daughter is petting the whisper in her ear, "and they taste like chicken". Oh hell...sure it is...thats funny damnit!! :)

    Saturday, April 14, 2007

    Cleaning up the blog's that time again to clean up the links. It's a sad time for me acually, because I hate it when bloggers go awol for whatever reason. No disrespect....I respect each have thier reasons to blog or not...but pity when I've taken a liking to reading them....:)

    I've been pondering a new layout for the blog links. I've tried to since I started being semi serious about this place....tried to segregate SFW from NSFW....seperate areas.....humor....zine type stuff...and it's dawned on me.....I may well be over thinking this.

    Lets face it folks.......very few links on this blog are truly SFW!!:) This coupled with my standards as to what SFW is to me...vs.....real world...well, it time for a reality check..:)

    Somehow....I suspect playing kitty cannon is not going to be any more appropriate at workplace than looking at some of my more obvious nudity/sex related links...I digress.

    I'm thinking a simple guys/gals/couples area for blogs I like, maybe a zine catagory for appropriate sights.....and a simple disclaimer...many NSFW, click at your risk. Whatchya all think?? :)

    I'm also thinking of going to a 3 column format. Thanks to the lovely Devil Blue Dress, I have a working template......ehh we'll see...:)

    Any ideas and or suggestion would be both appreciated, possibly ignored, but appreciated...:)

    Happy Saturday goofs and friends...:)

    Oh and yes.......don't forget to vote for me at the dorkbloggers showdown...:)

    Blatant Exploitation of my readers....:)

    As many of you know...I'm competing for the title of "Prince of dorks". If I win..not only will I get a $20.00 gift certificate, but also a nifty button to proudly display on my blog. Exciting shit eh??? C' all WANT me to win this. The competition is pretty stiff, but my post stands out as one of the dorkiest...I think I have a shot.

    If you are so inclined, please read my submission and then cast you vote here. Hopefully for me....:)

    Friday, April 13, 2007

    Just for CRSE

    To make this a lil easier, I've taken the liberty of finding a large archive of HAL9000 .wav files for easy download. Thats just how damn cool I am and all!! :)

    Actually, it probably lables me as a nerd as well as dork....but I digress. E-mail addy is easy to find in my profile....but just for you crse......HAL900 downloads here....:)

    The one I think you want is cantdo.wav :)

    Take care goofs and friends..:)

    Friday the Dorkteenth...Vote for me!! :)

    OK.....I've been thinking long and hard on this one. I've decided to go with the multi-mini story format, but only a few of them....ummm....because I'm just that cool. Yeah...thats why...yeah!!!

    1) 5-6 years into my last job...we moved from the paper age to the paper age with computers. This evolved for some time and my boss got a brand new laptop...with real sound...and really proud of it. He went to lunch, and left his office open. I...for reasons I'm not sure....thought it would be hilarious to change all of his event beeps and sounds to the audio clip of HAL "I'm sorry Dave....I'm afraid I can't do that". He was less amused than I was apparently...but he lived with it like that for 3 days..;).
    I still chuckle every time I remember this story...:)

    2) Very early in my career, I spent some time in outside sales. I took this client out for lunch in a small town....the resturant was the local bar. We ate, we drank, we yakked it up...then the bill came. They didn't take credit cards, I didn't have my checkbook, and had woefully less cash in pocket then needed. He wound up paying for our lunch.....and ironically became one of my better customers....:)

    3) I used to sell vacuum cleaners door to door...and still think our product kicked Kirbey's ass.

    4) Once at camp.....I had to whizz really bad at about 3:30-4am. It was quiet out, we had settled in for bed a couple hours was cold out, but I really had to go. I mean..get out and go, or lie to the wife about the mess later anywho...I unzip the side door to the dome tent. I'm stark nekkid and try to get my balance as I crawl my business..turn around and my aunt and some friends clap...and yelll woooohooo!!!!! I stumble and try to balance myself by grabbing the dome tent as I see 4 people sitting around the fire. Well...that room of the dome tent folded inward, and I fell backward...landing spread eagle and giving them a show.....Alchohol was involved in this story...

    5) I woke up one morning in a panic because I was running late for work. I had been tardy a few too many times already and didn't want an ass chewing. I sped to work cussing the whole way...only to find out I looked at the clock wrong. I wasn't 5 minutes late....I was 55 minutes early, and the only one in the parking lot. In my infinite wisdom, I figured a half our nap was in order, so I leaned the seat back in my car and got comfy. I woke up an hour later and got an ass chewing for my tardy..:)

    6) I once made a sock puppet named "Argyle" so I'd have somebody to talk to when I was chatting online in IRC. Argyle became more popular than me in the room.....:)

    7) I have on a couple of occasions tried to impress a date by revealing I authored porn websites.......while I haven't done either in worked more often than you'd

    I think ya can vote HERE but to be honest....ehhh it was fun anywho..;)

    Thursday, April 12, 2007

    Random thoughts......


    if oatmeal cookies are made with oatmeal....

    and chocolate chip cookies are made with chocolate chips....

    what's the real deal with girlscout cookies?????

    Don't forget...tomorrow is friday the dorkteenth!! :)

    The rules are simple friends and goofs, and can be found on the links below. Lets not let ourselves be out dorked...and for me no matter how lame my post is. We are pervs after all...we can rig this!!! :)

    There will be stories......

    There will be prizes......

    There may be beer and if we all chip in......Bewbies!!...sadly some of them man bewbies...but such is life...:)

    lets all go say hi and drop a friendly word our dorken truth, we all are dorks...lets share our pervy dorkish love...:)

    Take care goofs and friends...:)

    Tuesday, April 10, 2007

    TMI Tuesday and a hit on my resume...:)

    So I get the manchild to school, and tool back home. I tinker with this and that, run off to the store and lo and behold........blinking answering machine. The message was quite surprising really..."Hi Mr. Zig, I found your resume on the MTB, we have a position open and was wondering if you'd be interested. I'll send you an e-mail also."

    Now....if your a regular reader you should know I'm kinda dubious...I really have no interest in yakking with another goof about how I can make 2-5k a month on my home pc selling pheremones and snakeoil...or snakes in oil....though that might be fun....I digress.

    A quick e-mail check, and this is a legit offer. A smallish company that markets it's custom niche software, and hardware support as well. It's local, well established, and has an install base of about 800 customers. I dunno...but definately gonna look deeper into this one! Lets face it, that $7.00 I won off the lotto isn't going to last forever....:) to TMI Tuesday..;)

    1. Stubble... good or bad? How often do you shave?
    Depends on where the stubble is....:) Actually, I need to get back in the habit of every day...I've kinda let myself slip into that "at camp" look.

    2. How often do you kiss (read make out) with your so?
    Not nearly as often as I should....I need to work on that.

    3. Have you ever placed a personal ad or answered a personal ad?
    It's been many years...but actually yes. Both on Yahoo and AFF......the responses were odd and scary...scarier than IRC....and we don't need to discuss that....:)

    4. Where was the first place you ever had sex?
    Depends on how literally you define it.....see I had this babysitter a long time ago...she was 15-16....I wonder if she became a school teacher in Florida.....
    ***Legal disclaimer...I was the basbysitee...not the employer of said babysitter...:)

    5. After a night of great sex, who do you tell? How much?
    My lovely wife....and we are usually in some sort of pleasant pain the next day..:)

    Bonus (as in optional): Have you ever kissed your partner on the lips after oral sex without brushing teeth, nor washing/gargling/rinsing out mouth? Turn on or off?
    I see this question pop up again and again from various places. I love getting, I love giving....sometimes adding flavors or listerene strips for fun. (If you have not really should try the listerene strip approach) I wouldn't say it's a turn on or turn off for me, but a tender moment after a part of our lovemaking. To each thier own...:)

    Anywho....happy TMI goofs and friends!! :)


    Monday, April 09, 2007


    It seems peeps in the microwave is not as original as I had believed......oddly, this makes me feel better. Less alone, ya know??? :)

    Take care goofs and frinds...:)

    I WON THE LOTTO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    No....I really mean it this time! I don't mean that annoying UK and Irish or Canadian e-mail we all get and go hrrrrm. I mean the real "buy a ticket, wait for the numbers, get your money" lotto.

    So yesterday ladies and gents...I did what any of you would have. I claimed my prize and am waiting to surprise the wife! Yeppers.......all $7.00 of it. seems 3 out of 6 white balls and no power ball only pays $7.00. But hey....I'm a winner!!!! :)

    Happy monday goofs and friends..:)

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    Sunday, April 08, 2007

    Grumps and goofs aside...;)

    I wish you all a happy Easter, and hope happy memories...:)

    A note to unplanned guests.......

    Tip 1, Zig prefers "expected guests"...or at least more warning than "knock knock"

    Tip 2, My private office is private......invite only.

    Tip 3, Family except for lovely wife...does not exclude you from 1 and 2...I give you and yours the same respect I ask.

    Saturday, April 07, 2007

    Peep V.S. Peep...

    So I'm listening to Roe Con yesterday.....and the subject of peeps came up. Tis the season for all the peep goodness and all. They were discussing the 14 year shelf life, the various types.......etc. was actually got boring, boring that is until....

    A school teacher called in and she mentioned an experiment she told her students about. It seems my friends...that if you take 2 perfectly good peeps, set them on a paper plate about 1 inch (25.4mm for the rest of you) apart, and jab them each with a toothpick......they will swordfight in the microwave.

    OMFG!!! I mean how cool is this??? I've put all manner of things in my microwave out of's......old even....but never peeps!!! A careful discussion with my lovely wife, and a promise that the home owners insurance was up to date.....she agreed this must be tried. Honestly, I think she just knew it was going to happen anywho,,,,,,,,but she loves me...:) here we have the grudge match set. I've named the yellow one Timmy...manchild has named the pink one Jimmy....I'm betting on the yellow one, I mean c''s a peep...and the other one is pink...this should be a shoe in!! Just look at Timmy....he's got that angry bunny peep eye thing going on!!

    Are you excited...I know I am.......set the microwave to high at 1 minute.....LET THE GAMES BEGIN!!!!!!!

    Ironically.....after 10 seconds, they really do look like they are sword fighting. Then they start getting big.....really big, bigger than you would expect a peep could get. Sadly however...there was no satisfying "pop" sound.....but Timmy is the clear loser in this battle as you can see below. There was also surpisingly less smoke than my normal experiment of this nature........perhaps 2 minutes next run...:)

    What I learned from this experiment.....

    1) Never judge a peep by it's color.
    2) Peeps are lousey sword fighters.
    3) I should never be allowed to play by myself.

    Happy easter goofs and friends!! :)

    ***Disclaimer: Any attempt to replicate this experiment is at your own risk...:)

    ***Edit...You can find the history of peeps HERE..:)

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    Friday, April 06, 2007

    Da Count.....

    So it's been a long week......have about half my prep work for the A+ nailed, another week and I think I can take the real exam. Tonight my boy comes home...only to spend the night with buddies. Get used to it I tell myself......need to study tonight anywho...still

    I'm sitting alone......wife at work...princess up north, manchild at a friends..........e-mail pops up.."HI DAD!!!".

    Tonight I'm thankful I'm still cool enough in the eyes of a 13 year old manchild, to say hi to his old reason...:)

    Take care goofs and friends.....;)

    Of mice men...and cats...

    I know many of you will find this odd.......but the big tough Zig is a cat guy. Yeah dogs are fun...and I do have a soft spot for the beloved pooch, but give me a cat anyday.

    Cats have attitude, cats are sneaky, cats will flip you off and still expect to be fed. and for as much as I decry our cat as being a total retard..he has his moments..:)

    Example...the cats been acting stranger than normal these last few days. Chasing ghosts and being all wide eye'd like he just smoked some really good shit...only slightly different behaviour...but drifferent enough for us to notice. I mostly thought it was the drop in temperature from mid 60's the the snow we are getting now.

    I was getting my boots on by the door yesterday....and noticed something odd, a few droplets of fresh blood. No kids in the house this week...the lovely wife may have nicked herself on the way to work...the cat seems fine.....hrrm.

    Today I'm sitting here..and the puzzle puts itself together with 2 simple sounds..."SQUEEK SQEEK"!! Sure enough...there's my retard happily doing all the catlike things a little masochist feline does when engaging said rodent. It's dancelike almost to watch.

    So far he's gotten 2 today.....and still on the prowl, I'm betting against the mice!! :)

    Tuesday, April 03, 2007

    TMI Tuesday....and crappy weather..

    You gotta love this part of the year. In this great's not at all uncommon to have temps in the 50's and 60's....only to have it snow tomorrow. That my friends is what we have going on today. Rainey and mild......temps to drop to around 31...and yes....snow. This land isn't made for wussies damnit!! :)

    Anywho.....on to TMI!!

    1. What is your middle name?
    The name between my first and last name.....for purposes here..I guess that would be "Zag"

    2. Where do you keep your toys? In your nightstand?
    In my guncase, usually locked unless visited by the Jehova's Witness crew..

    3. How many toys do you have? List them! (links & pictures are nice, too!) =P
    Hrmmmm....Last count 7-8....various lengths and diameter....)

    4. Are you a swinger? Ever wanted to be?
    I used to be an avid swinger when I was much much younger...Now it's just creepy. You can fall out of those things and skin your knee or something.

    5. When should parents sit children down for the "birds & bees" talk?
    Preferabbly before they figure it out 6. Unfortunatly, the way things are going in this country...your kid going to school saying.."Daddy talks to me about sex"....could get you arrested.....grrr

    Bonus (as in optional): Do you know how many sex offenders are in your city? Find out & tell me. (click here!)
    Fortunately very few in this area....half for having a birds and bees talk with there kids...:)

    Happy TMI goofs and friends!!!!

    Monday, April 02, 2007

    Mondays are interesting.......

    So I'm sitting at the computer looking up testing criteria for A+ and Network+....and looking at porn.....when the phone rings..

    I find this odd as the caller ID reflects it as a local number, but not a name I really recognize. Ordinarily I'd let the machine pick this up, but I'm bored as hell....and the suspense is killing me. Maybe I really did win the UK lotto jackpot or something!!

    I pick up...

    Me: Hello, this is Zig.

    Mysterious Stranger: Hi, Zig...are you the Zig that does PC repair?

    Excited Me: Well yes I am, how did you hear of me?

    Mysterious Stranger: I was at the local grocery store and saw your flyer on the board, you certainly seem motivated...

    Excited Me: Well yes, just trying to make a living. I'm relieved to hear people read those after all. What can I do for you?

    Mysterious Stranger: Well, my wife and I have been working with a new Internet Business, and we were wondering if we could talk with you about it.

    Dubious Me: I dunno......I've tried that before..know people that have invested thousands and never saw a dime....

    Mysterious Stranger: No..I understand, I can assure you that you wouldn't invest anywhere NEAR a thousand......I can bring my sponser along as well....

    Cynical Me: Well.....I may be willing to hear what you have going on, but not my home.....someplace more neutral perhaps?

    Mysterious Stranger: Sure problem....Burger King then???

    Me: I'll have to get back to ya....thanks...

    So anywho I'm not certain I want to look into this one. This is a big ole goofy universe and all. I mean.....The idea of becoming a millionaire with my own home based internet business...via a call from a stranger...who got my name from my flyer at the grocery store....negotiated at a local Burger just whacky enough to work!! I could just write a small story and sell it to hollywood for a cool million and let them make a romantic comedy out of it.......

    Yeah......Adam Sandler could play me.....not happy gilmour Adam.....but punchdrunk love Adam...I'm liking it. Maybe Jennifer Tilly could play Agrah......I'm liking this more and more......and the mysterious stranger can be Christopher Walken!! Bam!! now thats the cast I want....I'm seeing it now........and the mysterious strangers sponser can be a monkey in a fez hat....and he chases all the kids around and round in the playground at the burger king!!!! I should get paid for this shit I swear....

    In reality......the end product would probably look more like this....

    Happy monday goofs and friends!!!