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Father, Big ole perv, dork, geek. Hopeless romantic....

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    Wednesday, January 30, 2008

    Random thoughts....

    In hindsite, it really is unfair, no matter how big a fan he may be, to force your 13y/o son to watch "Pink Floyd The Wall", if you and your wife are going to sing along through the whole damn thing.

    Just saying...

    Tuesday, January 29, 2008

    It's official..........

    Hillary can absolutely win by a sweeping majority in some early primary states. Granted, uncontested states..states without delegates..states who didn't have campaigns.

    Way to go Hillary! You swept the only front runner on the ballot against "uncommitted" and a hopeful that had already dropped out of the race.

    Florida...ofcourse, was a little tighter for ya. Good thing ya flew in and announced to the Florida press you weren't there to campaign or anything. Somebody might have thought you were breaking the rules or something.

    Someplace out in space......there is a celestial snicker....:)

    Thursday, January 24, 2008

    For Dad.....


    This is a show I used to watch when I was 11 or 12 with my stepmom still finds the memories disturbing of our laughter.........:)

    Dear Al Gore....Update....again...

    Al......this is insane, but I gave into my lovely wife and shoveled a shitpile of global warming from our driveway. I'm sure you agree this was courageous of me as it was mostly made of hydrogen and oxygen. Did I mention I have a metal shovel Al? One spark and we could have all been dead!!

    Just thought you'd like to know.

    Your pal in Global warming.......Zig

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    Dear Al Gore....Update....

    Just to let you know.........another 2 inches of global warming has fallen on my property since my last note. My wife is insisting I shovel said global warming from our driveway. Her car is lower to the ground and almost got stuck in it. I keep telling her to blame Bush and big oil...but she's not buying it. She's certain if we simply shovel the global warming away..the driveway will be more passable.....I tell her thats silly talk. We all know the only way to solve this is true change.

    brb...gotta start the jeep and let it idle for 5-10 minutes...I hate driving that damn thing when its cold.

    Your friend in global warming.....Zig.

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    Dear Al Gore....

    This morning...I had to brush 10-12 inches of global warming off my 4 wheel drive SUV to take my son to school this morning. Just thought you'd like to know.

    That is all...

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    Wednesday, January 23, 2008

    Photo ID required to vote.......

    OK.....I got to say out loud, I agree with this law!

    Having said that, I also think it not a necessary law.

    OMG just contradicted yourself! You fence rider you!! POSER!!

    Bullshit....and if you will bear with me, I'll endeavour to explain.

    I'd like to start by admitting, I'm basing my opinion on Michigan as I understand it, your state may have very very different rules.

    In Michigan, since I was old enough to drive, it's been a state REQUIREMENT that you have and carry on you a state issued photo ID. Exemptions for this were/are out of state visitors, military (who have their own photo ID), a passport, or other federal ID. 99% of us in Michigan fall into the 1st category, usually in the form of a drivers license.

    Those of us that do not drive, can not drive, are not eligible for a drivers license, have the option of a state issued photo costs $10.00. If you are financially challenged, or over a certain age, the state waives or discounts the fee.

    You need this ID to open a banking account. You need this ID to get an apartment. You need this ID to get utilities in your name. In short, there is no excuse, if you are going to claim residency in Michigan, not to have an ID.

    While I support this, it's also a bullshit law...because we don't enforce existing laws!

    All my voting life, I've had to register to vote. It cost me a small fee to get a card to put in my wallet. This card has my name, my voting district, and my signature on it. I was told, always take this with you when you will need it. I've never been asked to show it once in over 20 years!!

    Do I think a photo ID to vote is a good idea......yes, yes I do. Do I think we never would have had to go this far if we enforced existing laws?.....Yes...sadly I do.

    Here is a brain storm........present an acceptable ID to get your voter registration number aside. 1 card 1 vote. 1 person, 1 vote. Dicks will still find away to exploit the system........but makes it abit more transparent...:)

    I for one have no problem proving I'm Zig......before casting my vote as Zig.

    editors note: If your scared about voting for the and educate yourself. The president has far less impact on your day to day living than your local leaders, your county leaders, and your state leaders.

    Additional rhetorical as this post sounds, we just this year insist "proof of legal residency, for a state ID. I happen to support this as well......:)

    Tuesday, January 22, 2008

    Heath Ledger found dead....

    WOW...I mean.....just wow! This tragic and all and I don't mean to sound callous.....but this seriously throws off my celebrity dead pool bets...

    TMI Tuesday.....and stuff...

    So I got the band links up, and frankly..they are all over the board. Hope you like some, hope you find some you never thought you'd like. Like most things in my life, not all of this is for anybody elses taste.......but hopefully, you will like a few...;)

    TMI's been a few weeks, but this one seems fun enough..shall we try? Shall we take a stab? Dare we delve into the mind of Zig??? I dunno man...I don't even like walking in there most days.....but here we go!!

    1. What was your favorite book as a kid?
    Which book..and what kid time? I started reading kinda early I guess..... Snoopy/Charlie Brown books were my favorie for years. I guess the first real book I ever read just for fun was The Hobbit...:)

    2. If you were stranded on that proverbial desert island (again!), what book or books (up to 5) would you want to have with you?
    If it's a big island, Farnams Freehold, The SAS Survival Handbook, The bible (not for religious reasons....more for the porn and violence), The Prince (just because I've never read it all the way through), and lastly....yeah..The Hobbit.

    3. What was the first "naughty" book you read and in what way was it naughty?
    Read up to's got rape, incest, slavery, romance.......damn man!! The secend one was a dime store novel called "Hollys Horse". I won't digress here...:)

    4. If you were to publish your autobiography today, what would be the title?
    DON"T READ THIS BOOK!! Actually...I think the title would increase sales........:)

    5. Would you rather look at nude pictures/pornography or read erotic fiction and why?
    Depends on my mood actually. Sometimes I'm in the mood for my brain being set on fire from one side........sometimes the other. I'm not sure if this makes any sense at all, but it's not one or the other.

    Bonus (as in optional):Do you know the whereabouts today of the first person with whom you had sex?

    Oh hell yes....and my lawyer says never to share of these details with you internet goofs!! :)

    Happy TMI Goofs and frinds!!

    Monday, January 21, 2008

    Money quotes from the presidential campaign...

    Some of these are kinda old....but I still like them..

    RE Hillary's 8 years in the white house being an experience advantage..

    When she says she can “hit the ground running,” she pretends that she is addressing her vast public policy experience. But it is irrelevant that she was in the White House for eight years. So was the pastry chef....Dick Morris

    RE Huckabee confronted ba a crying baby at the Michigan primary..

    "He's not the happiest boy today," Huckabee said, smiling for a picture with the boy and his brother and sister. "I think he must be a Romney voter. Look at him. He's so sad."....Mike Huckabee

    RE Edwards trying to leverage the internet for campaign donations...

    "In some ways, it's the way we have to go," Edwards says. "We can't make John black, we can't make him a woman."....Elizabeth Edwards

    RE Romney suggesting we need a system just like the one that's been available since 1997...guess he didn't get the memo

    "That's the very reason why we so desperately need in this country an employment verification system, so that an employer who is hiring people can know who's here legally or illegally."....Mitt Romney

    RE Obama being distantly related to Dick Cheney...

    "I don't want to be invited to the family hunting party,"....Barack Obama

    Thats all I have for today goofs and friends, but fear not. While it feels like forever, we still have a whole year of whackiness ahead. Trust me, it will get whackier and whackier.

    Sunday, January 20, 2008

    Sunday musings and past due tweaks.....

    So it's kinda been a slow day in the Zig house. I made the obligatory drive to pick up the girl child from her "every other weekend" with her dad. While I pretty much do not enjoy this event in general......white knuckle driving in sub zero weather makes it even more fun. We meet at an unofficial halfway point...which basically means it's 75 miles each way for us...and about 60 each way for him. I really shouldn't bitch, for all things I dislike about the man...he really does make some effort to spend time with his daughter, I'll give him that much credit.

    I've made some tweaks to the blog. Nothing you'd notice immediately, just some link updates as some of my friends have moved to other addy's or closed their blogs all together. Finally got around to fixing "Waterboy" as epica took their link down some time ago.

    Pretty exciting reading so far huh?? :) Actually, if you've read this far, I've a question for you goofs. I considering dumping the snapvine voicemail widget. All it seems to do is slow down the load time of the page, and nobody really seems keen on yakking to it any who. I was thinking of replacing it with a link blog to bands I like.....some on myspace....some official websites....what says you goofs?

    Anywho.....take care for now goofs and friends!

    Friday, January 18, 2008

    Never piss off a tiger......

    So the tiger story still prevails......and guess what? One of the kids admits they were drunk and harassing it......

    It's a tragic story no matter how ya slice it, but I'm reminded of a teenage experience.

    Once, I had this friend and we were running from the cops........I said man...we have to outrun these guys!!

    He didn't even look my way...but said...Nope!!! I just have to outrun you!!

    Friendship at it's finest!! :)

    And now....Just for Bubba Tex.....I think I found your kin hoss!!!

    Take care goofs and friends!

    Wednesday, January 16, 2008

    So I got tasered today...........

    I really should have expected it I guess. I blame myself really.

    Around 8:00 am I got the first call...some bitch named Ginny or Jena..I really couldn't tell between the french accent and the fact that she had been drinking all night. It actually reminded me abit of my wife when we drunk dial people from camp, so I thought it was a prank. I promptly chuckled and said honey...if you wanna talk to me, I'm downstairs..this is silly, and hung up.

    Around 8:10 the phone rings again, and by this time my wife has left for the gym....which confuses me as it's Jena again and on my super secret phone line. Five minutes of broken drunk frenglish imparts to me that she is indeed not happy with my last post and how dare I!!! And I'm a heartless bastard..and I should know only a federal bailout and higher taxes are the only hope for Michigan....and I need to go to re-education. Again, I hang up but chuckle and say piss off as I do so..

    Around 10:00am I'm sipping my coffee and watching the last episode of the 4400 on my PC when the door gets kicked in. Three rather stout bald men wearing what I can only describe as "Ben Franklin" glasses stand before me and that they work for Carl Levsumfin sumfin. They adjust their glasses down their nose and stare at me with obvious superior intelligence.

    Things get a little hazy past that but I remember asking them why if Detroit was the center of all things automotive are states like Ohio and Tenessee are doing so well there.....then I heard ..BBBBBBBBZZZZZZZZTTTTTT.

    When I woke up they were still there.....I kinda recall asking why Michigan is in it's own depression, but still has a 90+% employment rate.......then I heard and felt.........BBBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTTTTTTTTTT..

    Around 2:00 pm I awoke in a pool of my own urine....which disturbs me. It's not like this has never happened, but no drinking fun prior is disturbing and wrong somehow. I survey the house to discover all my good beer is gone, the house tossed, and a chip implanted behind my left ear.

    It is on this note that I'd like to say that yes....Detroit is the center of Michigans universe. It is perfectly reasonable for us to pay 50-70% in taxes to support social programs that raise children that we never concieved, and only a federal bailout will save Michigan......but only if it goes to Lansing and spent mostly in Detroit.

    I for one gladly welcome our new overlords!!!

    BTW........this is a complete work of fiction, all names mentioned are fiction, don't taser me again bros.........really......really....c'mon.....I typed the blog entry damnit!! Oh shit!! BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!

    Take care goofs and friends!!

    Days like these........

    Wow........what a damn farce we exercised on Tuesday. Two primaries on the same day, Republicrat or Demopublican......the Dems being an exercise in humor more than anything else. My only real question to the Dems this one.....if Hillary was so "in agreement one the DNC's boycott" why didn't you remove yourself from the ticket?

    I love Michigan. Michigan is my home. Michigan has great things, and great potential yet to be unseen. But days like these...I truly do see why the upper peninsular wants to be it's own state.

    What I still can't figure out however, is how voters respond to promises by the "potential" repair our states economy........

    Regardless of whether you believe our country is heading for a recession, the last seven years have seen a pretty damn good economy for the USA. Lets be honest with ourselves, Michigan is it's own mess. The "president" can't, no matter what promises, fix that. That piece of magic falls squarely with our state legislature..and our governor.

    Lets clear up some myths about michigan shall we?

    Myth 1) Detroit is the center of Michigan. Sorry motor are certainly one of several vital organs in Michigan, but not the center of it's universe. I'd like to see a little more attention paid to the lungs kidneys heart and pancreas of this state, and a little less spent on it's liver.

    Myth 2) Jennifer Granholm is the spawn of satan. I can only suspect this is false. Atleast partially so....kinda.....sorta.

    Myth 3) All Michigan residents tell you where they are from by pointing to a place on their hand. This is only partially true, it's rude to say all....btw, yoopers do it also but point their fingers right and thumb up. I learned that at a wedding...:)

    Myth 4) We all hunt deer and fish and drink and camp., many transplants live here...we are working on that. For the record, many that claim to go to deer camp actually buy fish after leaving the tittie bar..

    Myth 5) Michigan is known as the welfare wonderland. Absolutely not true......we insisted all those bumper stickers be removed in the 80's. may have been true once.....but damn man....

    Myth 6) Michigan is surrounded by 20 percent of the worlds drinking water. Partially ice sheet crazy ass global warming theory aside......liquid water we have in with it.

    Myth 7) Michigan is actually part of Canada. False!! While we love our brothers and sisters in Ontario, Our dear governor is a US She used to be Canadian...besides, the canadians would never consider Spanish as a national language.

    Myth 8) Michigan people are rude. Not true my friend, but we are wary of outlanders. Depending on what side of the state your visiting, a simple "hi" may be met with disdain....or a simple "wtf".......we are however very friendly.......go to a concert..:)

    Myth 9) There are no rednecks in Michigan. OMG...where do I start here? We are a state built and proud of our redneck heritage. Our biggest argument with the southern rednecks is the way we say y'all.....and we have more most counties....kinda......well maybe reaching on this one.

    myth 10) Zig knows what the hell he is talking about. Opinions vary......rarely by much!! :)

    Take care goofs and friends....:)

    Sunday, January 13, 2008

    Political parties explained....via halloween.....:)

    So I was trying to explain the differences in political parties to my 12 year old son last year, and I remembered a skit I heard back in 2004 on NPR. Yes my readers and friends, I do at times listen to NPR.....F*ck you too! It has fine programming and I enjoy the contrast. I'm a complicated creature and need to eat more than one thing every day.....I digress.

    So Halloween comes and 5 children knock on the door....all scream "Trick or treat!!"

    Kid 1...Hi!! I'm a Republican. I worked very hard for this costume and paid for it myself. I hope my hard work will pay off and I'll be rewarded for it. I also hope that you give me the good candy...not circus peanuts or mary janes, but either way..thanks for the candy.

    Kid 2...Hi!! I'm a Democrat. I also worked really hard for my own costume and paid for it. I do know though that alot of kids like me could never ever afford their own costumes, I think we should just chip in and give them one. Granted, not one better than mine..but a nice one. I don't care what candy you give me so long as you give me some......but it's terribly unfair that you have that much candy and give it to other kids with full bags. I think kids with full bags of candy should share all of it so those less fortunate won't feel bad.

    Kid 3...Hi!! I'm a Libertarian. As you may have noticed, I'm not wearing a costume. While I really would appreciate some candy...I'd prefer to just buy my own. I honestly only ask you defend my right to buy whatever candy I want with my own money and leave me the hell alone about it. BTW.....did ya notice the first 2 their costumes sucked!!! :)

    Kid 4...Hi!! I'm a communist. May I just say it's unfair you have so much candy. We should take all the candy everywhere and make one big pile. Everybody gets he same amount of candy..the same kind of candy...or nobody should have candy.

    Unfortunate we never heard from kid 5. Kid 5 was a member of the green party and promptly egged the house....beat the home owner and set the place on fire in protest of plastics being bad for the environment.

    My son sat amazed and glassy eyed by the end of this talk....but I made a difference......:)

    Take care goofs and friends!

    Saturday, January 12, 2008

    So I get a hit on my resume today...

    Like many jobseekers, I have my resume online. I have multiple resumes actually, some focusing in IT....some focusing on industrial, some on office management. For all the brags and gags about these services, lets just say the results usually chuckle me.

    Today was one where I'm still scratching my head....

    Mr. Zig, your resume has been reviewed and we'd like you to apply for a great career with our company in phone sales.

    We are compatetive company in your area offering a service of great value and well established in your comunnity.

    This is not an entry level position, and you would be targeting qualified sales leads.

    Let me just say up front, I respect phone sales. It's can be shit work or honest work depending on the company, but the work...I do respect.

    Having said that...and perhaps it's just me, but this offer is filled with irony.

    How can one truly target a phone sales initiative to qualified customers if the product is hearing aides????

    Take care goofs and friends!! :)

    From the mail bag....

    Today I'm sharing a mail from my rather insane but lovable Canuk friend Cindy from the great white north eh?? Truth be told, she's no farther north than I am, she just lives on the side of the Lake Ontario that has better beer and better cigars..:)

    So your having a bad day..

    In a hospital's Intensive Care Unit, patients always died in the same bed, on Sunday morning, at about 11:00 a.m., regardless of their medical
    This puzzled the doctors and some even thought it had something to do with the supernatural. No one could solve the mystery as to why the deaths occurred around 11:00 a.m. on; Sunday, so a worldwide team of experts was assembled to investigate the cause of the incidents.

    The next Sunday morning, a few minutes before 11:00 a.m., all of the doctors and nurses nervously waited outside the ward to see for
    themselves what the terrible phenomenon was all about. Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer books, and other holy objects to ward off the evil spirits.
    Just when the clock struck 11:00, Pookie Johnson, the part-time Sunday sweeper, entered the ward and unplugged the life support system so he could use the vacuum cleaner.

    Having a Bad Day????

    The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon
    Valdez Oil spill in Alaska was $80,000.00. At a special
    ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were being
    released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from

    A minute later, in full view, a killer whale ate them both.

    Still think you are having a Bad Day????

    A woman came home to find her husband in
    the kitchen shaking frantically, almost in a dancing frenzy, with
    some kind of wire running from his waist towards the electric
    Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current, she whacked
    him with a handy plank of wood, breaking his arm two places.
    Up to that moment, he had been happily listening to his

    STILL think you're having Bad Day????

    Two animal rights defenders were protesting the cruelty of
    sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn, Germ any. Suddenly,
    all two thousand pigs broke loose and escaped through a broken
    fence, stampeding madly.

    The two helpless protesters were trampled to death.

    What?? STILL having a Bad Day????

    Iraqi terrorist Khay Rahnajet didn't pay enough postage on a
    letter bomb. It came back with "Return to Sender" stamped on
    it. Forgetting it was the bomb, he opened it and was blown
    to bits.

    There now, feeling better?

    Friday, January 11, 2008

    An extra special thank-you...

    Today I'd like to send an extra special thank you to our good friends at "Mybloglog".

    Switching completely to Yahoo.....that was precious..

    making it a real pain in the ass to merge my old a yahoo account..extra sweet..

    Losing my photo, and making me re-upload it...3 times...tasteful

    Making me change my screen name twice...even better

    Way to go assholes, ummmn........perhaps I didn't get the email, but a notice would have let me prepare. Way to go assholes!!

    People say you shouldn't bitch about a free service, but it's not free. You generate revenue by ad placement, and premium service. If your free service is shit...why would I pay for slightly better?

    Thanks for an hour of my day fixing this.......very well thought out migration. A migration of 2 seperate ISP's I didn't want or need an account tied on by name.

    Zig out

    I got an e-mail this morning......

    Actually I get alot of e-mail, most of it spam, some of it funny, some just sick. Some of you peeps really are sick sick lil monkeys out there. I mean c'mon...I'm into midget porn as much as the next guy...sombrero's do not go with latex boots!!!! I digress...

    So anywho, one of my aunts sent me this morning, and I agree. Please follow the links and read the whole story if you'd like. We differ in politics greatly her and I, but I respect her and she respects me, because we can articulate what we believe....usually...:)

    Well folks, jesh, seems I have been doing more writing than forwarding lately.
    I apologize.
    But I had to bring this up. Don't remember if any of you remember me ever sending anything from the Mudville Gazette, but if you do, I hate to say, that a blogger, Andrew Olmsted died in Iraq, first report was Jan 5th, but now it seems, the 8th, by sniper fire, and so was Thomas Casey.
    Many Of you may be asking yourself "why is she writing me about this?"
    I try my hardest to understand things. I don't want to go by what the media says, I want to see what my men and women in the military feel, and what they are going thru because they are the ones that matter. Their the ones doing the hard part, both physically as well as emotionally, to do a job that many do not want to do, to somehow in some way make not only their families safer but ALL of us.
    I cried after reading his final post, one he wrote in case he died. But I too went back and read some of his work. Man he was good : )
    and for the first time I saw his face here:

    I will not get political.

    Please take a moment and say a prayer for all in the military.

    Its a crazy world.

    You can find Andrews complete final post on his blog here.

    Take care goofs and friends!!

    Thursday, January 10, 2008

    News thats just f*cking stupid....

    Being the man of the world that I am....I've followed the sillyness of Britany Spears.

    We all well atleast most know she's a trainwreck. We all either look at it with ambivilence .....dismay, or disgust......but then enters Dr. Phil.

    What I can't get my head just how bad does it have to be for the Spears family to go to Dr. Phil.....and then go EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.

    To me this is like trying to hit on a hooker in a VD clinic, and being way honey...your too nasty!! :)

    and they are correct!!

    Take care goofs and friends

    I survived....and didn't jinx it....:)

    It still passes the smell test. We'll see where this goes, but business cards coming soon! :)

    Lifes turning! :)

    Tuesday, January 08, 2008

    Dare I jinx it???

    Wish me luck goofs and friends!!! Well please do, this it is my kingdom, but is a request..:)

    A new gig has arisen, and it passes the smell test. I am cautiously optimistic, and very hopeful this one....if this wind is blowing the way it feels, 2008 may well be the year Zig is back!! :)

    Tuesday, January 01, 2008

    Happy New Year!!!!

    I'm not really keen on new years resolutions to be honest. I mean.....sure I've tried them, I've failed most of them, but I think I may have found one I can keep.

    This year, I'll pay closer attention to my wifes advice when it comes to TV opinions.

    My lovely wife is a minx..and a jokester....a wicked and darkly chuckled one at times...point in case....

    Not too awful long ago, we were discussing a show called "The Girls Next Door". It's an odd realityish show about life inside the playboy mansion, Heffner and 3 of his girlfriends. I was intrigued, but not terribly much so. Later, after some more buzz, I decided to get my hands on season 1, and see what this was all about.

    Upon sharing this with my lovely wife, she chuckled...but offered this warning.."the blonde will probably annoy you". Resolute, I said I was going to risk it....

    It's now been 4 episodes..and she was right. Not only does the blonde annoy me...they are all blonde...and they annoy me. I've lost brain cells watching this. This is perhaps more painful than the time I watched "Dude, where's my car". This is bad...very bad that the abundant T&A doesn't even numb the sting.....really really bad.

    Example of dialouge......

    Girl1) I hear they have ostriches here....

    Girl2) They do, down by the garden, wanna see?

    Girl1) Sure...weeeee......oh hey.....those aren't ostriches..those are flamingos!!!!

    For the record.....the birds in question were brain hurts now.

    Touche my love.....touche!! :)

    ***I've come to the realization..the only difference between Hough Heffner and Slippery the name, and perhaps the money...past that......nope, not seeing it.....:)