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Father, Big ole perv, dork, geek. Hopeless romantic....

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    Monday, July 31, 2006

    Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest has romance, it has action, it has humor, it has rum, it has cannibals, it has Davey Jones and his minions, it still has an undead monkey. It also has drunken pirates. With a mix like this how can a film possibly go wrong??

    I'll tell you how. See it at the 3:00pm matinee surrounded by parents who think young...very young children would appreciate Johnny Depp and Keira Knightley more than my Lovely wife and I. Potty breaks and spilled popcorn were aplenty. For a bunch of nippers, I have to admit, tough crowd of native wee heathens we have here. Few crying eyes, save for the mom that was kind enough to bring her 9 month old, instead of leaving the strong lunged lad in the car.....or at home with a sitter..but I digress.

    The movie starts somber, Kiera waiting at a rainy empty wedding, a bride alone facing the ocean, it ends with a beating heart in a bag on a desk. Tons of fun and mayhem are there to be had in between. I give it a 7 of to my main gripe...

    Keira Knightley was rather lacking breast exposure this film. I mean really, wet dresses white cloth, 1st movie you saw alot more. The 1st movie was not lewd at all, and this one has some eyecandy, but not nearly They do include a very cajunesque seer that I'm looking forward to seeing more of in the 3rd installment of this run.

    While it is a truly fun lil ride if you've seen the 1st and already a fan, it's a shame to see what pains they took to make this more of a "family" movie. It's also a little disapointing here stateside, they leaked the details of the 3rd installment, and by doing so, completely shattered the myth that Jack Sparrow may have met his dramatic seemingly end.

    So anywho, if you want to see best advice, avoid the matinee.................LOL

    Sunday, July 30, 2006

    Camp games....late at night.....

    Try to guess whats missing from this picture. Beer?? Food?? Waldo?? Nope, whats missing is my Lovely wife. Why is she missing you may wonder. Is she sick, is she passed out by a tree, is she chatting quietly outside the camera's view? Actually the most likely scenario is that she is playing our favorite late nite camp game. DRUNK DIALING!!!

    OK the rules to this entertaining game are simple.

    1) Cell phone in hand with a reasonable signal to start.

    2) After midnight is the best time to initiate said game.

    3) Well lit or imbibed is the state of mind needed to start play.

    4) Randomly call friends, family, co-workers, from said cell phone.

    5) For added fun, trade cell phones with another camper to add to the confusion of the recipent of the call.

    This year had a twist we had not tried before. Wife drunk dialed me....5 minute voice mail next morning of her and her aunt snickering, well she thought it was amusing........:)

    Saturday, July 29, 2006

    More Tales from camp......

    If your really lucky, and the sun is down, this man will break out his guitar at our camp.

    Meet the grandpa..:) Man has a gravely voice, and can tell stories for hours on end. It doesn't matter if it's war stories, hunting stories, or just bullshiting, this is a man you want to talk with, if he will.

    When he breaks out the guitar, anything goes. Could be Irish or Welsh limericks, local folk songs, or stuff he picked up during his service...but ya better listen. If the sun is up, and three others avail, you damn well better be ready to toss horse shoes too.........:)

    We really need to bring a recorder of some sort to camp, and capture some of his songs and chat.

    I always look forward to camp, family and friends well met. I escpecially look forward to a visit from from grandpa, and tossing a beer with him and my father in law. Easily two of the most important men I've come to know in the last 5 years of my life.

    Friday, July 28, 2006

    The Lovely Wife returns.....

    The rumors are true. After a bumpy 10 days, terribly sucky days for her, the queen of this castle is finally home. She's a lil sore, day or two before she's on her game again, but home finally...:)

    I'm not a squeemish man, but I'll be the first to admit,,,,,,,,I hate hospitals. I hate hospitals worse when my wife is a patient. Those places smell, and sound funny man!!! I mean, I'm all in favor of the "Nurses are hot" thing, but....

    Anywho, this image is another from camp, before the evil kidney stone decided to no longer be ignored. I'm the one with the facial hair....:)

    Thursday, July 27, 2006

    Camp HNT

    So what do ya get when you mix adult beverages, a digital camera, an inquisitive wife, and camp? Well HNT ofcourse!!

    I'm rather liking the tri-color look she has going on in this self portrait. The Irish tan, to the sunburn, to the milky white.

    I swear, she played with every option that camera had.....we have HNT in sepia, in b&w, and different

    Happy HNT goofs........:)

    Wednesday, July 26, 2006

    Random Thoughts....Global Warming

    Make no mistake, Zig is both a huge fan of the great outdoors, and a believer that global warming is to some degree really happening. This does not mean I'm a tree hugging activist, or militant of said order.

    I do agree we all can make reasonable efforts to reduce pollution. We can do this individually, we can do it nationally, we can do it globally. But long term, what then?

    Last year, big headlines were made in California, an exceptional group of pro earth SUV bad idiots burned a car lot that sold SUV's. They torched the whole place...the building, the SUV's, and in one night, released more toxic greenhouse gasses then all the vehicles on the lot would have produced collectively in their service life. Not to mention the toll taken on the owners family and the insurance industry. Way to go activists.

    I pose a small handfull of questions.............

    1) What will we do about "solar warming" our system now that we see it's happing in other planets and moons..just about in step with earth?

    2) How will we cap a volcanoe, which releases more green house gas in one eruption, than we do as a race in 200 years. (happens about every 100 years)

    3) What do we do with the basic science that we are still getting, that this warming and cooling has happened before repeatedly, over the last few millenia.

    Global warming is not a myth in my opinion, but I'm not so sure we are nearly as important a part of the mechanisms involved, as we would have ourselves believe.

    George Carlin said it best, Mother earth is a sleeping giant, we are fleas in her fur. We piss her off to bad, she'll roll in her sleep, scratch her side, fleas gone, but mom will be fine.....:) We need to get over ourselves this one....

    Kidney stone update 2

    Well, the lovely Mrs Zig had her procedure this morning and all went well. The magic laser demolished a stone somewhere between 6mm to 8mm, and a temp stint to keep the ureter from collapsing in place.

    We were a lil bummed that doc chose to keep her overnight for observation rather than let her come home today, but it's probably a for the best. She's resting in reasonable comfort, and is genuinely greatful, as am I, all your well wishes this event.

    On the upside, she comes home tomorrow, no kidney stone, and a much happier woman.

    Tuesday, July 25, 2006

    Kidney stone update....

    The lovely Mrs Zig is resting well awaiting a rather unnerving procedure. First thing tomorrow morning she will have a medical probe with a laser tip gently rammed up her pee hole all the way to her kidney......can we say...EWWWWWWW!!??

    At some point, the magic laser will zap the offending stone...kinda like that old atari game "asteroids". Infact, I'd not be terribly surpised to see the doctors probe display look just like that video game, and high 5 the attending nurse when he got one. My wife is an RN, I trust her when she tells me these things. I still think it's further proof alien technology has become way to prevelant...but I digress.

    After all this, she will "theoretically" pass the small stones and can come home. I have chosen a very very smooth piece of road for this journey.

    This will be the second time in two years she's undergone this.....beginning to wonder if she has a laser fettish..:)

    Monday, July 24, 2006

    Rules for a proper camp........

    The rules for a proper campsite are really very simple in Zig's world. I thought it'd be fun to toss out our extended family's basic laws of camp. If your a camper too, curious to see how your camp rules stand up..:)

    This isn't a really good picture, but it's some of us observing the basic rules and cold beer while attemping a game of horse shoes in the rain. A mandatory game you must partake in atleast once to save face, no matter how bad you suck at it. We don't care you suck at it, we care you had a beer or drink of choice, and tried...:)

    1) No proper camp shall be without a clearly defined horse shoe pit.

    2) No proper camp shall be for any extended period of time....without cold beer.

    3) No proper camp shall be without a clearly defined firewood pile.

    4) No proper camp shall be without a clearly defined fire pit.

    5) Horse shoes will be played at camp at any opportunity 4 players can be arranged.

    6) Rain is not an excuse not to play horse shoes.

    7) Not knowing how to play horse shoes is not an excuse not to play.

    8) Beer will be consumed while throwing horse shoes.

    9) Nobody goes hungry at camp for any other reason that they "choose" not to eat.

    10) If you poop in the woods, you will take a shovel, and bury said poop.

    11) If you pee in the woods, nobody cares.

    12) When you break camp, you leave the site looking better than you found it.

    Those are our basics, look forward to hearing yours.............:)

    First aid..........Camping style stories from camp. Usually to be fair, it's Zig that requires 1st aide of some sort during camp. This trip however, it's the lovely Mrs Zig displaying one of the greatest ideas we have come up with to date.

    Twist your ankle at camp, soak it in ice water right in the cooler and keep drinking! Brilliant even if I do say so myself. No silly trip to the emergency room. No leaving the fire pit. No need to find a sober driver......which we were rather lacking at time of this photo.

    Some of our earlier ideas....mostly mine, get really drunk, argue with the pile of fire wood, loose your balance and fall face first into said pile of firewood, recover with firewood in hand, toss wood in firepit and pretend it didn't happen. Sip beer at this point and respond to all who ask..."dude why are you bleeding?" Arrrghh...blllpph not bleedhing.

    That was not such a good plan, but I did win that fight with the woodpile after it got one lucky punch.........:)

    You'll all be happy to learn it was a minor twist and the technique worked perfectly.

    Camping ain't for wussies....:)

    Sunday, July 23, 2006

    Surviving Camp................:)

    Another camping trip survived!!!! The Zig houshold loves to camp. We eat, we drink , we sing...sometimes nekkid. Fun is usually had by all.

    This camp had a new twist.......hence the image with this post. For those of you not familiar with these critters, they are racoons. Nasty lil monkey toed rats with a fettish for camping goods. They try to get in your coolers, try to get in your car, but usually afraid of humans. Coons are just a part of camping, like tuck your food away, don't leave trash leave them alone, they leave you alone.

    That was until this year.......f*cking coon mafia this trio. I'm certain they had back up packing guns off the perimeter as well.

    These goofs seemed content to sniff my toes as I sit by the fire. They were extremly fond of our well stocked bar (yes, we have a fully stocked bar at camp), and tried to steal my father in laws cherry beef jerky. By steal, I mean the bag on the table 6 inches from him while he was eating said jerky. By jerky, I mean Dublin Store Jerky. You wanna talk about asking for a quick and painful death??? Mess with that mans Dublin jerky.

    Somehow........yelling "BAD KITTY!!" drunk off your ass at 3:00AM as a racoon is stealing your shit is not as entertaining as one would imagine...:)

    Anywho...we survived, we had a hoot, and I'm very hungover. The lovely wife had a bit of a hard week, developed a nasty kidney stone that tossed abit of a wrench in the week, we've decided not to use the word "vacation" ever again. Her body seems to que in on it. More stories to come and plenty of HNT this trip.

    Saturday, July 15, 2006

    Off to camp..:)

    The Zig houshold is off for a week long holiday. You all take care and we'll see you in a about 10 days..:)

    Those of you that are coming to join us, call my cell when you get close. Don't want ya lost in the woods before you get there and

    I'm sure many fine stories will result this trip..:)

    Friday, July 14, 2006

    Tolkien...JRR Tolkien

    OK......after an oblong....obtuse is now clear to me.

    I'm not a purist, I'm not into a debate Tolkien vs Others.........

    I don't want to hear you still play D&D because you were exposed to this type of literature........and your'e 30+ and live in moms attic.

    But..............atleast tell me you READ the Hobbit if not the Lord of the Rings, before yu brag your collection of DVD's

    punk ass kids............

    Thursday, July 13, 2006

    HNT a night with friends

    So what do....the titty farie, small candies, adult beverages,and a group of friends have in common? Well in the Zig household, it could well turn into a fine game I can flip this candy between your boobs! It really is a fun game, right friends you can put some spin on it and retrieve the candy in a variety of ways....but I digress. (use your imagination)

    In the HNT above, our dear friend laments that the tittie fairie flew by her house with middle finger out. Frankly I disagree. Said fairie may not have been heaping over gifting, but certainly visited.....:)

    The rules are simple, any candy.....tic tacs, mentos, candy shaped hearts, altoids, M&m's. Any candy about the size of your thumbnail or smaller. You flip it from a distance, usually from opposite side a table. If you score a goal, 2 points......4 if you get to retrieve said candy...>:)

    Wednesday, July 12, 2006

    Random E-mail

    Like most of you, I get my share of e-mail that some friend found and had to share with me....even though it's in circulation for....YEARS!!!!! They think it's hilarious and surely must be shared with any and all e-mail addys they have. This may be old as well, but 1st I've seen it, so to spare you all the invasion of your inbox, I'm posting it here. I may even make this a regular theme..........LOL


    Dear Mrs Ogre,
    Over the past six months, your husband, has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this type of behavior and have considered banning the entire family from shopping in any of our stores.
    We have documented all incidents on our video surveillance equipment. Three of our clerks are attending counseling from the trouble your husband has caused. All complaints against Mr. Ogre have been compiled and are listed below.


    MEMO: RE: Mr. Ogre - Complaints - Things Mr. Ogre has done while his spouse was shopping in our store:

    1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts
    when they weren't looking.
    2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5- minute intervals.
    3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
    4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone,
    'Code 3' in housewares..... and watched what happened.
    5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.
    6. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
    7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers
    he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
    8. September 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to cry
    and asks, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
    9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, and
    picked his nose.
    10 November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the
    clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.
    11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the
    "Mission Impossible" theme.
    12. December 6: In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna look" using
    different size funnels.
    13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
    yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
    14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker,
    he assumes the fetal position and screams "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"

    And last, but not least!
    15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door and waited awhile; then, yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"

    Tuesday, July 11, 2006

    A good evening well spent.

    Thanks in no small part that we have a friend who can pull some strings, wife and I enjoyed a great sunday sipping beers and enjoying watching Train play live.

    I have to be honest, Train is a great band, but not my favorite. It is truly impressive music, one of my wifes favorites, and if you've ever seen them live, much better. I've never seen a band yet till them that can truley pull off Led Zeplins "Ramble On" and not embarass themself, let alone fricking nail it. They do nail it.

    If you're luke warm or a flat out fan, I highly recommend you see them live, whole different game.:)

    We were lucky enough to have a couple friends hook up with us there......extra thanks again to the friend that got us in, and a fun night had by all.

    The friend that got us in had a lil time to shoot the shit with us after the show, some more beers sipped, the equipment left, it was time for us to leave...........which brings me to the point of this post.............

    WTF is up with you people who can party all night on a sunday???????

    Shit.....I'm feeling old!!!!! LOL

    After a full night of partying.....on a sunday, we went out for breakfast.......good idea actually. 2 hour drive home and all. But I remember as a younger man.....walking in the door at 3:30am, and at work by 8:00am. That shit hurts

    /me cracks a beer and sips to fond memories of youth, youth when sleep was just an option. To not feeling like shit the next day, and regardless of the headache monday (which it actually was when we hit breakfast) a day and night very well spent.......:)

    Friday, July 07, 2006

    Is it just me???????????

    Is it just me......or do "knock knock" not work so well online????????

    Manchild mows the yard........

    Yes it's true, the manchild mowed the front yard!!!!

    After a heated debate with the manchild that started simple as a friendly btw, tomorrow your mowing the lawn..and later blossomed into a long drawn out, life sucks, as can only be articulated by a hormonle 12 y/o, the yard got somebody other than myself.

    The debate went on for what seemed hours, MsZig had to leave for a walk so as not to chime in. It was actuall abit of a sword fight.

    Manchild, I don't even get an allowance!

    Zig, we tried allowance, you either didn't do chores required, or did them half assed.

    Manchild, I did so!

    Zig, yes you did......exactly as I said. (not sure he caught that jab)

    Manchild, At my moms, I have to mow the yard.....why here too?

    Zig, Because if you don't get your grades together, it's your best hope at a skill that pays...(OK....I didn't say it....but wanted too)

    Zig, because you have to chip in here also.

    It sort of got repetitive from there, and looped several times, There were thrusts, parries and blocks. At some point I actually said to don't get paid?

    Every day you share this house, you have running water, electricity, cable
    TV, internet, your gamestation, food and food just for you. If MsZig and I don't work, who pays that bill for us? He paused

    Then I cooked dead cow on the grill while the lovely wife prepared veges and such, also grilled. We ate, wife went to work, I tucked in the kids. Manchild gave me a hug, said g'nite, and even got an I love you out of it.

    The next day.......he mowed the yard.

    In hindsite, I look back to my grandfather and his style of parenting...

    Zig, but I'm only 12, why do I have to mow the yard.

    Grandpa, Because I said so.

    Zig, But I don't wanna....

    Grandpa, 1 last chance, I'm not kidding...

    Zig, But...

    Grandpa, *SMACK* think that backhand hurts? Go mow the damn yard!

    Grampa had it nailed man, and saved three hours of endless debate. And he still got an I love you when tucking me in, but I ended the phrase "Sir".

    Parenthood ain't for

    Wednesday, July 05, 2006

    HNT this rarely admitted of camp photos

    OK, so I post this a tribute and peace offering to my Mum in Law for that last HNT. What you are witnessing here is White boys...attempting to dance. Hide Your EYES!!!!!!!!!! HIDE THEM FOR GOD'S SAKE!!!

    At some wee hour of the night, it is speculated the right tunes came on, some betting amongst men ensued, a fine rendition of wee lads having to pee really bad but no potty available acted out, set to music. All this while my Mum in Law had camera handy.

    While none of us included in this illicet photo truly remember the inspiraton for our "lets dance" enthusiasm, let alone the incident even happened till we recieved the photographic evidence.. We all agree it could not have been the copious amounts of adult beverages consumed at said camp, but we do now have this lovely trinkit. We are so proud.

    I proudly have this photo on display in my home office, neatly framed as you see. Said uncle and father in law, I don't think they display it with the same pride.

    I'm the guy wearing a hat..............:)

    Monday, July 03, 2006

    4th of July, a lil early

    The lovely wife and I had a unique evening last night. We went out and had the opportunity to have a beer with a serviceman and some of his family.

    He was a young man, 20 something, home on leave and going back in about a week. What struck me was his attitude, happy to be home, proud of what he does, a no bullshit attitude about what may be his future.

    He had a really cool Zippo lighter too. No I did not liberate him of it....:)

    The night went on, and the beers flowed, and it was time for him and his family to leave. We shook his hand, and the hand of his friend that serves with him.

    Before he left...Wife and I both said to him and his friend, and today I say to all who serve.

    Thank you!!!!! Thank you and like you who serve. You and those like you, are why I can enjoy a beer with my wife and live the life I have. We are honored to shake your hand and enjoy a beer with you.