Blatant Exploitation of my readers....:)

As many of you know...I'm competing for the title of "Prince of dorks". If I win..not only will I get a $20.00 gift certificate, but also a nifty button to proudly display on my blog. Exciting shit eh??? C'mon....you all WANT me to win this. The competition is pretty stiff, but my post stands out as one of the dorkiest...I think I have a shot. If you are so inclined, please read my submission and then cast you vote here. Hopefully for me....:)