TMI Tuesday.....and the job hunt continues.....

It's been an interesting wake up call to realize about yourself, you didn't really love what you've been doing for the last 17 years. Finding a job in the industry...would not be difficult, finding a job...or career path in what I do love, well thats going to be a little more difficult. It's going to happen, I know this. Making it happen is going to take some time to build up. I've lit the fire, but this baby is going to take awhile to get hot. Anywho......on to TMI 1. Commando: Sexy or disgusting? Do you have a "best" commando story? Depending on who and how.........sex as hell..unless it's Paris Hilton or Britney...I just find it creepy somehow.. Best commando story....lets just say zippers are not a mans friend..:) 2. Foreplay: Is there such a thing as too much? Absolutely!! I'm all for getting the engine fired up......but sometimes......let's get this truck moving ya'know??:) 3. Oral sex: Good if you are getting? Good is you are giving? Equally ewwwww? Nothing ewww about it either way. I like it.....alot....really really alot...:) 4. Orgasm: Is one per night enough or does the first one just get your motor running? Depends on the night really. Sometimes ones just fine, sometimes several. Sometimes I'm quite content to pass on mine just to watch her flail about swimming in hers...:) 5. Morning sex: "Oh hell yes!", "Well if I have, too." or "Just get in the shower and go to work." Oh hell yes! Bonus (as in optional): Have you ever had anonymous sex? Have you ever had an orgasm without at least knowing your partner's last name? Guilty yer honor!!!!! Umm.....not in a very long time sweetheart......Sweety......please put the gun down.....sweety??? Happy TMI goofs and friends.....:) ***Who's your web host?? Cheap and reliable hosting solutions

Da Count......I filled my boots today.........

I filled my boots today.....and it felt good. It took longer than planned, but I did what I promised.......I don't think I dissapointed........ Tomorrow.......a hair cut and some new clothes, I can't persue self employed looking like this. This was a test.....I can still do it. To be honest.....I really wasn't sure.....now I know I can. I smell blood in these waters and it's time I stop being afraid of it.....or myself....:) Today I remember........I remember more than I've forgotten....... Today I remember......some peeps find my skills valuable........ Today I remember......I can do this...........and feed my family Today.........I remember, tomorrow starts now Take care goofs and friends..............:) ***Who's your web host?? Cheap and reliable hosting solutions

I can do this...................

Lil help.....lil faith................I can do this, I can see it.........I can be that guy..... I've made the disc's............I've pondered the options.............my friends..........I think I'm going to give it a try... Now somebdy call me at 6 am...............appointment,,,that would really suck me missing it, just trying,,,,,,:) and if I cuss you for calling at 6am..................remeber I'm just waking up...........it's not camp...:) ***Who's your web host?? Cheap and reliable hosting solutions

Wanna feel old?????

Browse through you MP3 direcory...and find your ripped copy of Joe Satriani "Extremist"...in your new/alternative directory........:) ***Who's your web host?? Cheap and reliable hosting solutions

The story of Argyle..............part 1

1999-2000 RIP In the mood for a tail of debotchery, sin, mayhem...........sockpuppets? Well shop no further friends. This is a twisted lil tale, not for the weak of heart , faint of soul. You'll laugh, you'll cry (least if ya have a soul dammnit!!), and you'll mostly shake your head asking yourself..WTF???? Argyle was the product of extreme boredom. I was in the middle of my divorce, yakking on IRC, and really just bored out of my head......then an idea came.....change your nick to "Angrysockpuppet"............a monster was born. Argyle started off pretty good in life, decent stock, a sock of means, and ofcourse.....the love of his life "Bobbie". He and Bobbie had a plan, make a life, raise lil sockets, maybe a mitten........they had it all......until that fateful day. It's hard not to get teary eyed remembering his recollection of the event.....as he sipped his beer and took a long draw off his swisher sweet.....his voice would change.....a low tone....... I was right there in the basket he'd recall.......both fresh from the washer. There simply wasn't enough room in the dryer for both of us.........."It shoulda been me he'd mutter, rub out his cigar butt and light another.." She insisted on going 1st..they both knew the risks. She hopped in, gave a lil sock wave and blew him a kiss.... That was the last time Argyle ever saw Bobbie....................... ***To be continued................. ***Who's your web host?? Cheap and reliable hosting solutions

TMI Tuesday,,,,,,Fat tuesday edition!!!!

Happy Mardi and happy tuesday!!!!! I can report that while I'm not there....bourbon street seems alive and well. I know this because of a jackass friend who called to report piss drunk...........from infront a street cam......late at night. I envy that bastard.........I digress.. TMI!!!!! Would you rather... 1. be famous now & forgotten after you die or forgotten now & famous after you die, forever? & Why? Fame is such a silly thing........why not just ask me if I'd rather be cute Britney or skin head Britney??? 2. give blood or read Hamlet? & Why? Can I give blood while reading Hamlet??? Some of them phlembotomists are hot......:) 3. be extravagantly rich, but hated by others or be well loved and admired, but dirt poor? & Why? Dirt poor where??? On 1st reflex the well and loved......but we talking USA poor, or like pygmie poor?? Lord....I apologize them starving pygmies and stuff.............. 4. be imprisoned for the rest of your life or kill someone? & Why? Is'nt this likely why you'd be in prison in the 1st place???? 5. fight Mike Tyson or talk like him? & Why? Well.........if I could wear ear gaurds....... Bonus (as in optional): Who would you kill if you were guaranteed to get away with it? My darkest enemy...........but only if I could really really know my karma wouldn't hit his dogma....:) Happy TMI Goofs and friends......:) ***Who's your web host?? Cheap and reliable hosting solutions

Ghost writer entry...........

I've posted a couple times about our friend who tours with some bands. He was amused enough to offer to contibute to the blog. If he's game, I may get him to do this semi regular..:) OK....maybe he wasn't amused.......maybe it was the text message I sent calling him a fucktard sissypants........which I quickly followed up with a text message....saying "I love you man...but not in a gay way". He quickly replied...."I love you 2..but in a gay way".......to which I replied..."2 is spelled two, ya lazy bastard". I hate that shit........type it out!! I digress............................ Stories from the road........:) okay so here is the ultimate in airport fun. Since we spend approximately 50% of our lives in an airport we have to concoct things to minimize the chaos and mundane crap. First we go and get the biggest maxi pads we can......the MAXI maxi pads. We get some ketchup and squirt it on to make it look used. We have even gone so far as to prick our fingers to get blood when we couldnt find ketchup packets. then we discreetly stick it to one of our crew guys backs. We were in O'hare recently and Rob (our guitar tech) walked the entire airport with one stuck to his back. Everyone had a reaction. Some people were laughing their asses off.......some where horrified. Finally an old woman went up to him and said "son you have a used feminie napkin stuck to your back" Funny as hell! I cant walk through and airport without constantly touching my back or checking my carryon. At the beginning of one of my tours the guys stuck one of those magnetic strips ( the undeactivated ones) in my shoe under the sole. I went a whole tour (approximately 3 months) with it in. Every time we went to a mall i would set off the shoplifting alarms. i couldnt figure it out. Finally an airport security person found it with one of their wands. Fucked up thing was that it was my idea and the bastards did it to me. Take care goofs and friends....:) ***Who's your web host?? Cheap and reliable hosting solutions

On getting older............

There comes a time, in every mans life, that he must admit he cannot trust his farts. If your a guy....you know what I mean...........:) ***Who's your web host?? Cheap and reliable hosting solutions

Fun and games..........:)

Ok.........so i was thinking of what to post tonight, what not to........I thought an amusing story would be just the spot..:) Lovely wife an I have this friend, runs the sound board for some major bands. They have this game they like to play when on tour and the airport is involved....it goes kinda like this.... Allright......so you find the biggest dildo or vibrator you can......take a big screwdriver into the battery case or dildo itself......and hide it one of your buddy's carry on luggage. When it fails x-ray....the bag will be searched, and all will see said dildo....pulled from the carry on bag..... idle hands...............:) ***Who's your web host?? Cheap and reliable hosting solutions

New Blogger...

Ok....so I took the plunge and it all seems to work. I've officially migrated to the new Blogger, hope it'll be a little more stable. Please let me know if it loads a lil better for ya peeps.......:) I haven't tinkered with the new template settings yet, heard they are kinda a bitch. I was smart enough to make a backup of the old one, so.....fingers crossed..:) ***Who's your web host?? Cheap and reliable hosting solutions

The Count.......

Well.....it's been an interesting 2 weeks. Between joining the ranks of the "unemployed", and....celebrating a birthday...in that order, I've had a lil more "me" time than I'm used too. I mean don't get me wrong...I like me, I really do. I'm a pretty nice guy and all, but a lil of me can go a long ways. This hanging out with me nonstop..all day...every day...well, it's abit much. I mean really, no disrespect to me, but I think we both need to see some other people a lil more. Anywho.......Da Count!!! Tonight, I thankful I can still laugh, even if it's at me. Take care goofs and friends.... ***Who's your web host?? Cheap and reliable hosting solutions

Action Figures VS Doll............

Ironic that I open this with a sock puppet eh?? This creature was my friend and confidant during some of my darkest years. I made him with my own hands. He fathered children....very very creepy children. I should dedicate a post to stinkass one day......but that's for a later post..:) So the lovely wife and I were talking about dolls and action figures and why we call them different when they are both really dolls............... I love the woman dearly, and in my heart of hearts, I know she's right, but she really doesn't get the quiet art of nuance at times.......girls play with dollies...boys play with action figures. Well sometimes boys play with barbies...or her lil cousin skipper...or both......with shaving cream...I digress.... Her) I don't get it... Me) You won't, your not a guy... Her) I'm serious, both sexes like to role play, whether you call it an action figure or a doll, it's still play. He'll be a wussypants or not...regardless if it's called a doll or action figure. Me) Sissypants......the term...is sissypants.....:) ******long pause............. At this point she goes back to browsing porn, and pointing out particularly interesting pics to me................I love my wife.....:) ***Who's your web host?? Cheap and reliable hosting solutions

Happy Valentines Day from Zig and Agrah!!

Wishing you and yours....a very very good Valentines day. The hearth is warm...... The logs are lit........ Whats that smell?....... OK.......who shit in the fireplace???????????? ***Who's your web host?? Cheap and reliable hosting solutions

The birthday package.......

I mentioned earlier that my mother in law sent me a birthday package....and the contents inside.....well it's gotten more interesting. My father in law called me last night to wish me a happy birthday...see how I was doing...chit chat, I've grown very fond of this man........the conversation turns to the package.... Me...Yeah, I got the package...the rock was funny, it's on my bookself next to us doing the crotch dance at camp.. Him..."Chuckle"....yeah, she showed me before she sent it...... Me...And it seems I have a whole 5th of Hennesy at my disposal now.....hrmmmmm... Him...You sure about that Zig?? (hidden chuckle in his voice.....not so much a chuckle..or outward tell......perhaps it's my super special psychic powers....I'm suspicious now) Me...As sure as I'm sitting here.....there is a bottle of Hennesy you guys sent me....I can see it now....it's right here..(I take a closer look at the bottle) Me...Umm...this bottle has been tampered with.......It's been resealed with clear tape......what exactly are the contents of this particular bottle?? Him..."Snicker"..well......I wouldn't know....but just wanted to call and say happy birthday... Me...Ya know what.......I think I'm going to save this bottle for camp, let her have the 1st shot...just to be safe...:) Him..."Chuckle"...I think thats a fine idea.....Memorial day is coming...:) As I said before...Ma is a card, and never turn your back on her.......:) ***Edit,,,Ma called tonight.....and admits that while the contents of the bottle are not fatal......drinking of it is discouraged....:) ***Who's your web host?? Cheap and reliable hosting solutions

Cleaning up the Blog

I updated / deleted some links today. Seems some have gotten abit dodgy, no longer updated, or spam ridden. Anybody know what the hell happened to "Sir Dirty Joke"?? I miss his punk ass!! ***Who's your web host?? Cheap and reliable hosting solutions

An important lesson

Now you've been warned..............:) ***Who's your web host?? Cheap and reliable hosting solutions

Tmi Tuesday.....and stuff

I cant believe I almost forgot it was TMI Tuesday. All the excitement and craziness around the house today celebrating my birthday kinda threw me off. Not less than an hour ago while having yet another black and tan with the queen of England, Christopher Walken, an Joe Peschi.....I looked at my watch and said.."holy shit!! It's tuesday!!" Ok...so I'm kinda full of shit....but imagine that party eh?? Creepy funny shit,,,,,and in my mind, it all works. I did however recieve a package from my mother in law.....A new t-shirt featuring the Courvosier logo ( my favorite ), a 5th of Hennesy ( her favorite..ironic eh? ) and a hand painted rock that says "I "Heart" man boobs" ( I believe thats revenge for my indiscretion with sharpie markers and I drew on her while she slept......maybe..:) The sharpie incident can be found here. Anywho......On to TMI!!!! 1. Have you had sex with another person in 2007? Have you passed on an opportunity to sex with another person in 2007? Absolutly....on both counts.......ask the lovely wife.....I'm a moody creature sometimes...:) 2. What is the funniest thing you have ever said or done during sex? (Orgasmic facial expressions do not count.) I once attempted to spice things up by adding a sock puppet to the mix....I think I was more amused than her......ehh go figure... 3. What is the first thing you notice about a member of the opposite sex? Eyes......the eyes always get me...then boobs......yeah...thats my story.. 4. What is the best pick-up line you have ever heard? Every used? Ever been used on you? Ok......your going to find this hard to believe....but I made this one up all by myself....I don't get to use it anymore, but you can all use it....."yanno...if ya rub my tummy...a genie pops out". If that doesn't break the ice...nothing will!! :) 5. Where is the most unique you have ever had sex? Define unique...... Bonus (as in optional): Do you pee in the shower? If so, has any SO known that you pee in the shower? Has any SO peed in the shower? Guilty yer honor!!!!! ***Who's your web host?? Cheap and reliable hosting solutions

Ever get fired??????

I dunno what I really excpected........hello's..........hugs.........conffeti and and the jab in the rib...bad joke!!!! f*ck that. Cleaning out ones cubicle is abit odd........especially if your entrenched a few years. What amazed me more today is what I left behind more than took......1 box of stuff....and some hardware, a file cabinet I purchased.......dirty looks got that out the building, my own muscle........ My father was amused.........I told him the cube had been raped by the gals........he chuckled and asked me if I ever read Dilbert... In fairness........nothing was really stolen from me.......and I stole nothing from them....my red stapler, thats still semi safe....( daughter really likes it )... Life on....game on........:) ***Who's your web host?? Cheap and reliable hosting solutions

On hiding under rocks..........

This rock is heavy... The hole is deep..... The mud is cold...... It hurts my feet..... The sun is warm............... I can see outside............. It's time I lift this rock.... Regain my pride............... Patches said Argyle woulda liked it....but would have said "GRRRR BOUT TIME JACKASS!!!!!!" Argyle was an asshole. :) ***Who's your web host?? Cheap and reliable hosting solutions

Reflecting on life.........and other shit..

OK...so it's been a bumpy week, and I had to get my head together. My initial reaction of shock...dismay...I tried to keep my best face. It took awhile for the reality to set in, then ponder my options....and then thank god for the news. While I hate to make fun of tragic circumstances.....I'm kinda an asshole and it's my blog. Maybe it just me but...if you drive 600 miles to confront your boyfriends other woman, yeah thats human drama...touching, heart wrenching maybe. Do that drive in a diaper, as a career astronaut, with a pocket knife..4 foot of surgical tubing, BB gun, steel mallet, and a can of pepper spray...you may well be a template for a Gary Larson cartoon....:) And ofcourse there is the untimely death of Anna Nichole......nothing really funny about it, but look at the goofs crawling out the woodwork yelling "I'm the daddy!!" Rest well Anna....I'm sure you giggling harder now then we ever saw ya on the MTV awards!! :) Seems my life isn't as bad as I thought last monday!! :) Take care goofs and friends... ***Edit: I've spent the last couple of days reading Steve Novak's blog. Funny funny shit....please pay him a visit...:) ***Who's your web host?? Cheap and reliable hosting solutions

Stolen from Stealth....

Yeah........I laffed my ass off when I read yours Lass.... Then I got this......Hmmm What Famous Leader Are You? personality tests by similarminds.com Hey..we're both assasination victems...thats something isn't it?? Phhhppppppppppppttttt.......

TMI Tuesday.......

Here we gooooo! 1. Have you ever had sex in a friend's house/apartment/car/whatever... but not with that friend? Does your friend know? I had to think hard about this one. The straight answer is yes, and I'm sure they were aware. Ususally, such things happen our house or shared hotel.....or federal park land....... 2. Have you ever sat at your computer naked? Yes....but almost never at work. (Casual Fridays my ass!!) 3. If you are sure you WOULD get caught, is there anyone (known personally, celebrity, fictional character) you'd cheat with? While it's true I have a certain affinity/fear of Angelina Jolie......I'll pass on the cheating thing. We have rules...I live within them.. 4. Have you ever photocopied a body part? Yes....but nothing particularly interesting. 5. Just how rigid are your standards: Is there anyone out there (say, a celebrity), that you'd do, just to say you scored? (We aren't talking a dreamy celebrity i.e. Brad Pitt or Jennifer Aniston; we are talking Mick Jagger, Dick Chenney, or the Queen of England.) OK...I was going to point out that this almost the same as 3....but realize I have more wiggle room here. I admit it....I'd do the queen of england...just for the bragging rights....:) 6. Have you ever contacted a “lost love” years later? I have, we married less than a year later....:) 7. What was the worst thing your SO ever caught you doing? What was the worst thing your parents ever caught you doing? Did you ever do either of those things again? I'd have to say.....lying. I try not to be that guy, but I still lie once in awhile. 8. What is the shortest period of time you've ever gone between sex with two different sexual partners in separate sessions (that means threesomes don't count unless they are separate threesomes)? A couple of hours.......many many years ago..I still have no shame of it....:) 9. Besides the usual (lingerie, sexy shoes, etc.), what's the sexiest thing your SO can wear? While I don't think she thinks it's all that sexy..the lovely wife has this knit blouse...shades of pastels...they play up the color of her eyes, and a pair of jeans. 10. Have you ever masterbated with a house hold object (other than a sex toy)? If so what? Ever make a sock puppet???? Bonus (as in optional): For you girls out there...what size boobs do you have? For you guys, how many inches are you packing? 12-14....but it takes repeated packing and bad math...:) Happy TMI goofs and friends!!!

Wait till next year!!!!!!

OK........so my team lost. Suck it up and lick your wounds........just wait till next year. They made it to the show, they didin't win......but they made it. This next year is gonna kick ass!!!! :)

Cluck cluck cluck.......

Unemployed...........simple as that

Texas mandates cervical cancer vaccine

My father reads this blog now and again. Sometimes he acuses....well no....that harsh..sometimes he points out that my politics bleed out in my blog. I have to admit...as I get older, make more money, and pay more taxes, I do admit...my politics have been geting more conservative. But then we come to this shit that has people all up in arms.... OK...conservative politics aside...........WTF are people thinking here? I fully appreciate your family values, respect the fact you are raising your children proper. I support your ability to mandate "rules in your house". As a father of a pre-teen daughter, and a post teen ex-step daughter.....I have an akward truth for all of you. Sooner or later, your daughter is probably.....very probably.......gonna start to f*ck. It's beyond most of your control, and the best you can hope for is you raised them best as you could. We could digress all day, when or who, or at what age, or environment, but why in the hell wouldn't you give every chance to avoid a disease that can kill her? If polio was an std..........would you deny her the vaccine?

I also....pay for my crimes.......

OK....so I stole this from Lestat who stole it from Loz. It's an odd twist on the purity test and my lovely wife is delighted I scored higher than her for a change. I feel dirty....soiled.....:) My score was $750.60, whats yours??? :) Fee Schedule Smoked pot -- $10 Did acid -- $5 Ever had sex at church -- $25 Woke up in the morning and did not know the person who was next to you -- $40 Had sex with someone on MySpace -- $25 Had sex for money -- $100 Vandalized something -- $20 Had sex on your parents' bed -- $10 Beat up someone -- $20 Been jumped -- $10 Crossed dressed -- $10 Given money to stripper -- $25 Been in love with a stripper -- $20 Kissed someone whose name you didn't know -- $0.10 Hit on someone of the same sex while at work -- $15 Ever drive drunk -- $20 Ever got drunk at work, or went to work while still drunk -- $50 Used toys while having sex -- $30 Got drunk, passed out and don't remember the night before -- $20 Went skinny dipping -- $5 Had sex in a pool -- $20 Kissed someone of the same sex -- $10 Had sex with someone of the same sex -- $20 Cheated on your significant other -- $10 Masturbated -- $10 Cheated on your significant other with their relative or close friend -- $20 Done oral -- $5 Got oral -- $5 Done / got oral in a car while it was moving -- $25 Stole something -- $10 Had sex with someone in jail -- $25 Made a nasty home video -- $15 Had a threesome -- $50 Had sex in the wild -- $20 Been in the same room while someone was having sex -- $25 Stole something worth more than a hundred dollars -- $20 Had sex with someone 10 years older -- $20 Had sex with someone under 21 and you are over 27 -- $25 Been in love with two people or more at the same time -- $50 Said you love someone but didn't mean it -- $25 Went streaking -- $5 Went streaking in broad daylight -- $15 Been arrested -- $5 Spent time in jail -- $15 Peed in the pool -- $0.50 Played spin the bottle -- $5 Done something you regret -- $20 Had sex with your best friend -- $20 Had sex with someone you work with at work -- $25 Had anal sex -- $80 Lied to your mate -- $5 Lied to your mate about the sex being good -- $25

HNT

This can...and has happened at camp..........:) ***EDIT*** OK so there is a story behind this particular behind. I'm not certain if I've mentioned it, but some of the family on my lovely wifes side think there are few things funnier...than mooning. For those not aware of this game, it's where you drop your pants and show your ass, laugh hystericaly, and walk away with a sense of pride. What we have here is not a "pierced" buttock. It is infact a novelty pin...that has been forcibly inserted in said crack, then kicked by said inserter, after one too many beers her end...moons his end. We all laughed, then clapped, then took pictures. He stopped mooning..the rest of that night...:) Gotta love family..:)