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    Saturday, July 14, 2007

    The gas grill follies.....part 3

    If you missed part 1 of this little tale, you may want to start here. So I'm gloating the whole way home.......pull up in the driveway. I ponder the landscape, I ponder the distance to the back deck......I run the logistics.......*fuck*!!

    We have construction going on......I must enlist help....and I must admit it...which sucks....but this monster must be dragged to the back deck.....the lovely wife agrees...but we stop short of the deck.....the rest is mine. I am..............after all, I a man!!!

    See now...this is where it gets complicated.....the back deck is of my own design....and rather than a simple deck.....I decided a main deck.....with stairs to a sub deck...and odd shapes.....well they just made sense at the time....this now my challenge.....2 flights of stairs....big ass grill in a box.....begging to be assembled.....and it's all mine damnit......I am the man....I hum the man song as I haul it up.....

    As I manage to get up to door level.......another dilemma arises that I also.....which is a repeated theme in my life........had not pondered.......There's no damn room up here to assemble this bitch!

    The old grill still in place is taking up prime real estate and it's getting a little crowded with a big ass box.......existing grill....lawn furniture...and various things need not of mention. A quick scan and it's simple in my mind......Old grill simply must go...we need the room man!! Mr. 45000btu needs your real estate........time for you to retire....:)

    If any of you have seen the movie "Pee Wee's big adventure".....that scene as he's running from the bee's..........well let's just say I did a fair impersonation!! it not only seems that sitting through a warm and dry spring....but unmolested till early summer had made it prime real estate for yellow jackets...

    I don't mean just a few.....or just a few paper nests.....I mean they were renting out condos......and adding on to the old gas grill...I distinctly remember an indian casino someplace in there before I closed the lid and ran like hell!!

    Now I have a new problem........I can't assemble my kick ass grill until old grill gone...I can't burn out the yellow jackets or spray them without opening the the old grill........I come up with an idea......with the help of friends on IRC......an insane plane....one so bad...it just might work.......this would require beer...

    That night...around 3am......it was supposed to be about 58f......surely the offending stingers would be asleep by then yes?? they move slow that temp.....it's brilliant!! Brilliant except for 2 small details......

    Detail 1.....there is no light on my back deck.....I like me privacy.....

    Detail 2....unmolested for several months meant grape vines had found root ...

    3am.....half loaded and plan in mind......I snuck out all ninja like...I had a mission.....I'm humming the mission impossible theme......I'm a man.....

    To be continued...Here in part 4

    Comments on "The gas grill follies.....part 3"

     

    Anonymous Anonymous said ... (2:58 PM) : 

    Bwahaha, ninja like and humming the mission impossible theme, I can't wait to find out how this all turns out. :)

     

    Blogger Jay said ... (11:21 PM) : 

    I'm really hoping you had a can of raid and a lighter with you. ;-)

     

    Blogger Bunny said ... (11:22 PM) : 

    Launch it over the edge?? What happened man - don't tease us like this!!??!?!?! It's just cruel.

     

    Blogger Mrs.ZigZagMan said ... (9:23 AM) : 

    I am so sitting on my hands trying not to give it away...

     

    Blogger ZigZagMan said ... (2:55 PM) : 

    amorous rocker...The funny thing is that this is pretty much all true!! :)

    jay...You'll just have to keep reading buddy..:)

    bunny...Now your sounding like my daughter when I say "clean this mess!"..:)

    mrs.zig...Shhhh...it's a surprise ending....:)

     

    Blogger Just Jackie said ... (9:44 AM) : 

    The first thing that popped in my mind is this:
    Boy, what a smart grill! it built it's own defense systems in order to ensure it's life and permanance.

    Not only are you a smart giller, my friend, your grills are smart.

     

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