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Father, Big ole perv, dork, geek. Hopeless romantic....

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    Tuesday, January 26, 2010

    TMI Tuesday and just general silliness....:)

    So I'm sitting home alone......girlfriend is with her "bff"....which is a term that disturbs me to actually say.....I mean c'mon.....bff.......we're not 12 man.....fer fucks sake.....it's bad enough it's an American Idol party......I digress.....

    So anywho.....it's been awhile.....and lo and behold, there is indeed a TMI Tuesday waiting for me. I don't know friends........it's been awhile...but it's about the art of self pleasure in a mastaburetory way.....or however the hell ya spell it.

    Shall we....shall we take a spin...............sure...why not...:)

    SLINKY + ESCALATOR = NEVER ENDING FUN!

    Well f*ckitty...............lets try cut and past again......but thats too much fun to delete.....it's my blog....it stays..........

    1. When you masturbate, how long, typically, is your session and what do you think about (other than having an orgasm)?

    *It's always been a long held belief of mine that masturbating is not and should not be an endurance sport damnit....as for the second half of the question....well my legal council advised me keep that quiet...:)

    2. Have you ever been "caught" masturbating?

    *Indeed I have.......hence the legal council thingy...

    3. Have you ever masturbated in front of your computer? If 'yes' was it for your own purposes or for someone's viewing pleasure?

    *I'm a fairly rational man......I suspect the european porno was not aware of my appreciation or affection felt at that moment......repeatedly. Oh you mean cams........you goofballs....:)

    4. Have you ever attended a group masturbation party? Same-sex or mixed?

    We call this a circle jerk......and well......actually no. You could lose an eye or sumfin....creepy stuff.

    5. When masturbating, as you reach orgasm, do you continue to stimulate yourself without interruption, or do you stop and apply pressure until your spasms subside? Or?

    *WTF?? To each their own man......but I'm gonna defer to #1 on this one myself.....:)

    6. Have you ever video'ed yourself while masturbating (solo)? Where are they now?

    *It's a damn lucky thing you tossed "solo" in that question....thats all I'm saying....:)


    Bonus (as in optional): How often do you use the word "fuck" (or its derivatives) in casual conversation - frequently, occasionally, rarely, never.

    *Ohhhhh....I don't effing know......:)


    OK goofs and friends.......you all play safe and stuff.......and happy TMI!!! :)

    Saturday, January 09, 2010

    Words matter

    Always remember..........should you be facing a disciplinary action at your place employment, it is far easier to justify having told a co-worker to "bite my ass" than to say..... ohhhh I dunno......"Bite my pasty white cottage cheese hairy ass"

    Thats a trip from your uncle Zig....:)

    On that note..........if it's around Christmas at work and your saying HO HO HO...no matter how funny it seems at the time......do not when questioned by a co-worker if your Santa respond....."no lass, I was just thinking of you." Some people have no sense of humour it seems......I digress.....

    However.......when in any conversation and somebody as a matter of banter slaps her hand on the counter and laughingly says "bitch bitch bitch....", it is perfectly acceptable to respond...."yes yes.........enough about you, lets get back to the story"...:)

    This applies to gas stations, ER rooms, family gatherings....etc....